While dating a widower with children can present it own set of challenges, particularly if the passing of his spouse was recent or unexpected, it is still possible to develop a warm and fulfilling relationship.
Just keep in mind that dating a widower can require a bit of extra patience, understanding and a willingness to allow him space to express his feelings. Even if your new love interest has had ample time to grieve the loss of his spouse, his children may still be dealing with the loss of their parent -- and he may be trying to help them deal with their pain.
In 2006, after the death of her husband, Richard Carlson, Ph.
D., author of the best-selling "Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff" books, Kristine Carlson felt a loss that sent her on a healing journey through grief.
She felt lonely and wanted the companionship, so she let it be that.
“Don’t be too hasty to jump into a real relationship,” she says.
Thrown unexpectedly into the single life again, many widows and widowers have a hard time imagining they are still “dating material” or that they could ever be sitting across the restaurant table getting to know someone new.
Let’s look at that list again, and you may see some challenges.
A man who has been married to one woman for over forty years can be challenging.
It was hard to know what “the norm” was, or what was considered appropriate by society. I finally realized that I had only myself to judge what felt right, so really the question was: “Am I ready? I knew I was interested in experiencing intimacy again with another person. Most single people in their thirties and forties tend to be divorced or have never been married.
” This was also a very difficult question to answer. Do you feel that, as a widow, your dating issues are different than others within your age range? Well, I was unlike most divorced people in that I had no animosity towards my husband. I knew what that felt like, how it worked and that I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than a good relationship, which I was only able to describe as the feeling of “being home.” There had to be some sort of recognition within the other person, similar values and shared outlook on life.